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| Mother and me, 1959 |
I
well remember a discussion with my mother as we did the supper dishes when I
was about eight years old. “You know that your daddy and I are older than your
friends’ parents, don’t you?” I said yes, I did. Somehow I knew from the
beginning that my family was different from most with those “grown-up” sisters
and a brother coming and going.
“We’re
old enough to be your grandparents,” she went on, “and sometime someone might just
ask you if we’re your grandparents. That’s all right. Just say that we’re your
parents.”
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| Grandpa Portfors, Mother holding Polly Profitt, Nina |
So,
yes – enough years separated me and my parents that they could easily have been
my grandparents. That’s why I said a couple of weeks ago that two generations
separated me and my parents.
According
to Ancestry.com, “As a matter of common knowledge, we know that a generation
averages about 25 years—from the birth of a parent to the birth of a
child—although it varies case by case. We also generally accept that the length
of a generation was closer to 20 years in earlier times when humans mated
younger and life expectancy was shorter.” (You can read the entire article
here.)
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| Grandpa Portfors, Mother holding Keri Walrath, Chuck Walrath |
Of
course, my parents are still the parent generation, and I am the child, but in terms
of experience, they were two generations older than I. They were old enough to
be the parents of many of my classmates’ parents. And my grandparents were old
enough to be my great-grandparents – even my great-great-grandparents. In my
opinion, my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were so old that they never
really related well to my world. (Okay, you may have thought that of your
parents, too, but in my case it was true!)
We
speak of “the generation gap,” but when that gap is extra wide, I think it makes
a difference in one’s upbringing. It’s not so much the years that matter but
the parental values, their frame of reference. I didn’t see this in a positive light
until I was about 50, but I now cherish the firsthand experience I had with the values of earlier
generations.
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| Vance & Dorothy Dobson with Kathy, 1959 |
When
I was still a little girl, my parents did become grandparents. From time to
time, as a new grandchild joined the family, a four-generation picture would be
taken. I admit I felt left out because I did the math and knew it would never
happen for me.
It’s
a huge subject, and I’m moving on. Next up: a subject easier to contemplate. KW
3 comments:
I knew your parents were older, but I certainly never put them in the same category as my grandparents. They were vibrant, interesting people, always doing something and seemed very up to date to me.
And I forgot to mention that I well remember those square floor pillows you're sitting on!
Thanks, Chris, and yes, they were active people. And Mother did her best to stay up to date for my sake.
I loved those floor pillows, made possible by the advent of plastic, I'm sure. Mother and Daddy look like they're having a good time. I have considered cropping me out of that picture, but it still says something about the times, which is why I left it whole. That was our first t.v. set with Mother's birthday tree.
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