I’m always very happy over my Mother’s Day remembrances. I feel lifted up and carried along on my children’s love and faith and feel like life has been successful after all. So accept my appreciation of all you have meant to me and of your gift and thought on this last Mother’s Day. I heard from you all on Friday except Ethel. Her $1.00 bill and lovely card came Saturday. Myrtle sent a pair of very nice fabric gloves in a light tan, a perfect fit, and Shirley just raves over them. She also sent a half dozen very pretty flower packets [seeds]. Pearl sent $2.00 and a letter. Irl and Bernice sent a nice print dress. I shall use the $1.00 bills to get new curtains etc., which are needed and will do so much to add to our pleasure in the house. – Ina Dobson to her son Vance, June 1933
My
husband, my children, my childhood chum, and a few P.E.O. sisters know that I
am capable of ranting when I feel strongly on a given subject. And here’s one
that’s been repeating in my mind every spring for years.
Mother’s Day is less than two weeks away, and the promotions from online retailers are in full swing. I find the idea of equating appreciation to the expense of a gift distasteful. I was not raised to think this way. Gifts were thoughtful simple things.
Perhaps I sound like an ingrate, but as a mother, what do I want anyway? I want my children to live fulfilling lives, take care of themselves and their families, contribute to the world in positive ways, save for the future, and if applicable, straighten up and fly right! I don’t want them to spend time and money on me frivolously. And above all, I don’t want them to feel guilty about a thing – not a thing! If for some reason they don’t call or write on Mother’s Day, I will readily forgive. This date was established by humans to be a simple celebration of motherhood, and the failure to observe it should not constitute a guilt trip. I hear from my children all the time and they respond when we need them. What more do I want?
I know not everyone feels this way. Obviously, we see by Ina’s words that even in 1933, she treasured what she received on “her day.” And believe me, she expected it, too! (Whew! I’m so glad Vance didn’t forget!) But – it was a different time and a different place. Life on the homestead, or small family farm, was at best subsistence living, and whatever Ina received from her children was well-appreciated. I also know that with the exception of Earle, who was a school teacher, those children didn’t have dollar bills to spare.
In the bigger picture, I can empathize with those women for whom Mother’s Day is bittersweet. Within motherhood is heartache – loss, sacrifice, estrangement, and unfulfilled hopes. And perhaps the mothering qualities of some go unsung. Sometimes the hype seems cruel.
Don’t get me started on Grandparent’s Day! KW