MUSINGS ON FUNERALS

The culture of funerals has changed and along with it the etiquette of mourning.

When my grandfather, Julian Dobson, died in the mid-1940s, the only vehicle available to the family was my dad’s red pick-up. Daddy told me that his mother (Ina, of course) refused to ride to the funeral home in that pick-up, and the mortician sent a car to the farm for her.

Funeral practices have changed, and apparently in a relatively short time – I mean, as late as the last 25 years. The funeral and burial used to be scheduled quickly, usually between three to five days. I think the cost of funerals and the “one size fits all” attitude brought about the change. Now we take care of the necessary details and give ourselves time to plan a celebration of life that truly expresses our departed one. This is positive, I think, though there’s also something to be said for getting through it as soon as possible. Sometimes people opt for no service at all.

Well, my mother believed that a funeral is essential. Family and friends must gather, she said. We have to support each other through that first time together without the one who has gone on. With Milo’s passing, members of our family expressed the same thought, and since Milo’s life was in the Boise area, we will hold a celebration of life at Hyatt Place in Meridian on Saturday, Jan. 13. Hallie has taken the lead in planning; otherwise, it just wouldn’t happen, and then I would feel bad that we didn’t have some sort of service in his memory.

Nevertheless, I can hardly wait until Monday, Jan. 15, when it’s over and I’m back home and I don’t have to think about the details again, though I’ll still have plenty to think about. KW