COMMUNICATING WITH THE INCARCERATED

Here’s the link to a segment from NBC Nightly News (June 19) which addresses issues regarding communication with those incarcerated in county jails across the country. Issues are much the same with those in prison. If you’re fortunate enough not to experience these things firsthand, you just don’t realize how families are affected. KW

MAKING M&M COOKIES WITH SILAS

During our recent reunion at the farmhouse, Hallie said that Silas wanted to bake M&M cookies with me. I was surprised. Silas doesn’t get many sweet treats. His sweets come in the form of fruits and low-sugar muffins. Silas is a happy eater.

“He loves to help with the mixing,” said Hallie, “and he especially likes to dump the ingredients into the bowl.”

So, at the appointed time, I gathered ingredients and pulled out the stand mixer, which is always at the ready for the next baking adventure. I measured and Silas dumped with Hallie standing by as guard. We finished with a nice batch of M&M cookies.

Note the stand mixer. This mixer replaced a KitchenAid that I had grown to dislike because its slow speeds weren’t slow enough. On the lower gears, it still flipped flour and batter out of the bowl. I put up with it for years, but when Hallie discovered this problem, she suggested I replace it. Personally, my favorite mixer was the old Oster / Sunbeam with the flat bowl, but those are evidently no longer on the market. The present mixer was a $99 special during an Amazon event, and I figured for that price I could give it a try. It has a powerful 6-speed motor (half as many speeds as the KitchenAid), but the lowest speed is actually low. It works for me.

And I gave my old KitchenAid to son Murray, who doesn’t bake cookies and desserts. As far as I know, it works for him. KW 

A NEW FAVORITE RERUN

 

In the previous post, I mentioned that as one of our first dates, Mike and I attended the Spokane World’s Fair. Another first date was to watch a movie, All the King’s Men, a free presentation at the Lewiston Community Center. This movie was released in 1949, and its star, Broderick Crawford, won an Oscar for his portrayal of the main character, Willie Stark. The storyline is loosely based on the life of Huey P. Long. It’s not like “Brod” Crawford is our favorite actor or anything, but we still fondly remember that date, the movie, -- and Brod.

A while back, we discovered reruns of Highway Patrol (1955-59), the central character of which is Dan Matthews, played by Broderick Crawford. We both enjoy these programs for the old cars and the comic (yes, comic) value. Naturally, it wasn’t meant to be a comedy. It's actually billed as a drama. But production was sloppy in those early days of television. Each episode is worth at least two good laughs.

·      Matthews (aka Crawford) talks so fast that he’s barely understandable. I would hate to be his support staff. “Say what? I didn’t quite catch that,” I would be saying as he runs from the room. And he hangs up the phone before he’s finished talking.

·      The cars are big and heavy, and the suspension systems leave a lot to be desired. 

·      The cars have bench seats, and the driver often slides in or out through the passenger side (or the passenger slides through from the driver’s side). I remember doing that in the age before bucket seats. I can hear my mother saying, “Let me slide through.”

·      The police cars are two-door, so those arrested have to crawl into the backseat while handcuffed. In what world does that really work?

·      And how about three big guys riding in those tiny helicopters? Will they make it off the ground?

Well, you get the idea. Perhaps it's fun for us because of our memories. "Those were the days," as we say. KW

A MONUMENTAL DISCUSSION

Several years ago, Mike and I bought a plot at the Gilbert Cemetery adjacent to my Dobson grandparents as our “final resting place.” The cemetery board representative told us that up to six cremated remains can be buried in one plot. It would be just the two of us, we thought.

But when we suddenly had to make decisions regarding the ashes of our son, Milo Warnock, we decided to include him in our plot. Discussion ensued with the monument company, and they said that Milo’s monument would be set behind ours – at what I call the back of the plot – and must be flat. We accepted this, though we really wanted a better presentation for Milo. Ultimately, it won’t matter, but it matters to us now.

Milo's monument -- flat and out of line

I really think it’s best to set the monument after the burial, but we wanted it in place for our ceremony on May 25 so that our family could see it, and the monument company complied with our request. However, imagine our surprise when the monument was set at the front of the plot, flat to the ground, and a bit out of line with the existing monuments at that! I said it didn’t matter. I just wanted to be finished with this and move on. But a couple of us were vocally adamant that it should be right. And they have a point. It isn’t even set as the company representative told us it would be. And if Milo’s monument is to be in line with the existing ones, then we would like it to be raised, just as they are.

So, we talked to the monument company, and we talked to the cemetery board – and long story short, Milo gets to have this plot to himself with a raised monument that’s more in keeping with our wishes, and Mike and I bought the next plot over. Milo would be amused over all this. KW

 

[Milo Warnock, a DUI offender, was beaten to death in his cell at the Idaho State Correction Center in Kuna on Dec. 10, 2023. Our family has filed a tort claim (intent to sue) against the prison with regard to this wrongful death. Charges against his cellmate are pending with the Ada County Prosecutor.]

SUMMER?

 

The atmospheric river, a.k.a. Pineapple Express, didn’t cause much trouble in our region as far as I know. The wind blew, but in my opinion, we could have used more rain. The paper said that the rain would really help the winter wheat, but as I worked in my raised beds today, I noticed that the soil was already drying out.

Now the weatherman says it will be suddenly summer beginning today. And he might be right. It was 55 when we came to the farm on Tuesday. The fire in the grate felt good in the evening. Today it’s 77, but the sun was hot as I planted the raised beds. The coolness of the house is welcome.

I’m not much of a gardener, but I keep trying. The zucchini and tomato plants I started from seed look good, but I lost the climbing yellow crooked-neck and the pumpkin. I replaced them with spinach, lettuce, carrots, and green beans. We’ll see what happens. (The spinach and lettuce are both heat-tolerant.)

The little calliope hummingbirds visit the feeders now and then. It’s not a flurry of activity. In fact, sometimes it seems like a waste of sugar to make the nectar. Two young whitetail buck passed by the livingroom window last evening and later I saw them ambling down the lane. And this morning I saw a real bumblebee – a special sight these days.

Two weeks ago, a mama duck was parading her tiny brood on the pond. I never saw them, but I was pleased that some of our visitor did. We haven’t seen them now, so we don’t know if she’s there and hiding out or if she’s gone for whatever reason. KW

EXPO '74 -- 50 YEARS LATER

 

I attended Expo ’74 (aka the Spokane World’s Fair) three times. The first was in June 1974 when I met my parents there as I returned to the Pacific Northwest from a stay of several years in Boston.

Our Spokane accommodations were at the newly renovated Davenport Hotel. I remember that I flushed the toilet in our room – and it flushed and flushed and kept flushing. Maintenance came and fixed it.

I don’t remember much at all about touring the fair except for watching the glassblower at work. My dad loved blown glass and bought several pieces.

We also attended a Lawrence Welk Concert, and I think that was at the Spokane Coliseum. I can’t tell you a thing about the concert, but I do remember an incident prior to it. As we returned to the hotel from our day at the fair, the Welk performers, who were also staying at the Davenport, were loading their bus at the entrance. As we waited for the elevator, Lawrence’s tall (6’5”), good-looking male vocalist, Tom Netherton, nearly ran me down as he exited the elevator, apparently running late. He and I did a little this-way-and-that dance, and he was clearly impatient with the situation. He didn’t say, “Excuse me.”

Later in the summer, Mother decided that she and I should take a group of her grandchildren to Expo. I don’t remember much about that either except that we briefly lost Christi. We were just about to panic when we found her. We were never sure exactly what happened. Suffice it to say, she wandered off somehow and no one else was involved.

The third visit was in September, a first date for Mike and me. We talked about it the other day. Neither one of us can remember anything about the fair. Did we see the IMAX movie? Probably.

But here’s what I do remember. I had a chance meeting with a young man (Bob) who worked in my building in Boston. He was cycling back home to Boise through Canada and by happenstance our paths crossed at Expo.

“Wouldn’t you know it?” I thought to myself. “Here I am with one guy and another one shows up. Why now, Bob?”

Of course, I didn’t know at that time that Mike and I would marry or that Bob would reach out again, but sometimes you just have a feeling about things. Sure enough, in April, I received a note from Bob asking if he could write to me. I sent him a short note explaining that I was marrying the man with whom he saw me at Expo. My wedding was just weeks away. My life worked out for the best, I assure you.

And that’s what I remember about Expo ’74 – in other words, not much. The other day I noticed a program on PBS about the 50^th anniversary of Expo ’74 and suggested we watch it. Maybe it would spark our memories, I said. We watched about half of it before giving up. It was more about how Spokane managed to finance and coordinate Expo – it wasn’t easy – than about the fair itself. Perhaps it just wasn’t all that memorable. KW

FUNERALS

Members of Milo Warnock's family at his interment, May 25

When I was a child, my mother didn’t take me to funerals. She believed that a child should not be exposed to death and grief. Several grandmothers passed, but Mother sent me to school as usual rather than take me to the funeral. I hated to miss school so was fine with her decision.

But my sister Harriet had a different outlook. She took her young children to funerals. When Mother questioned her about this, Harriet said that children should go to funerals so that they learn what they are and how to comport themselves. This made sense to Mother, but I was already in high school and still hadn’t attended a funeral. Fortunately, when I did, it wasn’t a problem for me. I comported myself in a solemn manner like everyone else.

Back in the day of my youth, cremation hardly ever took place – at least, not in my world. When someone passed, it was imperative that the funeral take place within a few days. Working with the funeral home, survivors had to act fast, and if the death was sudden, it was a challenge. The casket was most usually present at the service, and you could opt to have it open or closed. Hopefully, you had six or eight able-bodied friends or family members to serve as pallbearers and carry the casket, and it was considered an honor to serve in this way. Contacting the pallbearers was yet another layer of responsibility that fell to the family.

Back in the day, funerals were all alike. Only the names and faces changed, as we say. The service was most usually held at the funeral home or possibly at a church. For their privacy, the family was sequestered in an alcove so that they could grieve privately. Someone sang a hymn or two and a minister sermonized. I had heard of eulogies, but I thought they were for the rich and famous. The congregants usually weren’t invited to share memories or words of comfort.

These “cookie-cutter” affairs are a thing of the past. It seems to me the first hint of change was that people began to object to the skyrocketing costs of funeral home services. As we know, today families and friends take care of the remains appropriately and then schedule a “celebration of life” when it’s convenient, giving them time to plan a program in keeping with the deceased’s personality and/or the needs of the hour. Attendees might be invited to share memories. The family is front and center, and everyone can laugh as well as cry.

And sometimes, families just opt not to have any service at all, and that’s fine, too. Mother disapproved, though. She felt that the deceased’s loved ones must gather to comfort one another. “Who’s to say who comforts whom in a family,” she said. She believed we must get through that first gathering without the one who has passed on.

Our family gathered over Memorial Day weekend to place son Milo’s ashes at the Gilbert Cemetery south of Orofino. We held a celebration of life for him in Boise on January 13. We remember a goodhearted person who was treated unfairly in the system and paid the ultimate price. KW