PROMISES PROMISES

“When I’m gone,” Mother would say, “Anything I leave undone, you should not take on.” When I protested, thinking how I might enjoy finishing a beautiful afghan or some embroidery, she was insistent. She knew that it takes inspiration to move our work to completion. And as we know, there’s no such thing as “yesterday’s inspiration.” She didn’t want me to be saddled with yesterday’s work.

One of Mother’s special interests was dressing antique dolls. A number of them had come her way – perhaps five -- and in those years when she had time to herself, she dressed them in fancy period costumes. The doll in the frame is the one I inherited. Actually, she was just a doll head to begin with, and she had belonged to Grandma Portfors. Mother bought the body and selected the dress pattern. The white underskirt is of the fabric for the flower girl dress I wore in Harriet’s wedding. The maroon satin was left over from a long vest I wore in college days. Another doll was dressed in the blue satin from the dress I wore in Chris and Dan’s wedding in 1972. So, you see, she had collected fabric over the years and devoted thought to how each doll should be dressed. But – in the end she was disappointed when time did not allow her the privilege of dressing the one remaining doll -- Ruth’s doll. Mother envisioned her in a long-waisted party dress just like she had worn when she was six. “I didn’t get to dress Ruth’s doll,” Mother would mourn from her nursing home bed. And finally her plaint became, “What will happen to Ruth’s doll?” “Don’t worry about it, Mother. I’ll take care of it,” and I began to make the promise she had cautioned me not to make.

So, last summer as I set up my sewing room, I began to think of this leftover project. I found the doll stored in a box with the fabric and pattern Mother had purchased for her dress. I knew the pattern had to be altered and dreaded facing that, but when I looked more closely I discovered Mother had already drawn the alterations. She had even purchased shoes and socks. No wonder she was disappointed that she couldn’t finish the work!

It’s not a project that captures my imagination, that I relate to, that I think I’m really capable of -- but I’ll give it a try. I would much rather dress vintage dolls than antique dolls. Yes, I know I have a choice and I could choose not to, but my mother knew she could depend on me, and I can be faithful to that. And that’s what counts.