THE WOOD BOX

Please sit on the wood box for a little while and I’ll give you my unasked viewpoint. It might serve to help to a clearer view of the situation. …. I’m very sorry that this had to come to you. …. I find it hard to believe that “all things work together for good to them that love God,” but He can and does overrule our mistakes if we are willing to do our best. We are building for a better plane of existence, of that I feel sure, and our trials here will add to our joys there, for everything is understood by contrast. I didn’t and don’t mean to preach to you. I’m just talking of my own thoughts and beliefs. I wish you might have a home of your own, but I’m thankful anyway for the house you have and for your friends. – Ina Dobson to her son Vance

Obviously, my dad was going through a rough patch when Grandma Ina wrote the above to him in 1933, 90 years ago. He was 29. I might not have recalled this passage were it not that I pictured Daddy sitting on the wood box while Grandma ranted on. Had he and his siblings endured her lectures in that manner? She probably meant for it to be uncomfortable in more ways than one. I can see her kneading bread as they sat there on the wood, perhaps tuning her out.

“Have they talked to you yet,” I once overheard Milo ask Clint. It comes to the point where your only tool is to talk, and then talking just isn't enough. We have to live our own lives. KW

TO FINISH – OR NOT TO FINISH

From my dad's collection of postcards -- 1910s

Must I finish everything I start? My mother would say yes even though she stored unfinished projects. (In fact, Mother stored her mother’s unfinished projects.) “When I’m gone, don’t think you have to finish my projects,” she told me as she grew older.

“Finish what you start.” We hear it from the time we’re old enough to – well, to start something. And yes, I agree that we shouldn’t just start and start and never finish. But now that I’m financially responsible for my own projects, I wonder if finishing is such a big deal. If we craft for something interesting to do, is it so bad not to finish if we lose interest?

Mike used to insist that if he started a book, he had to finish it whether or not he liked it. I finally convinced him that life’s too short to spend on a pastime you aren’t enjoying. If you don’t like the book, move to the next one. Similarly, sometimes a project just isn’t what I thought it would be. Maybe it’s too challenging, isn’t coming together like it should, or maybe you just don’t like it – period! Why spend the time to finish it?

“What do you do when you start something that you just don’t like,” a fellow crafter once asked.

“I put it in a storage box on a shelf,” I replied.

“Is that what we should do,” she questioned skeptically, as if she thought this wasn’t the best solution.

Started in 2010 -- finished in 2023

I think about that conversation from time to time. Perhaps the better solution is to let go of the unfinished. Pass it on or use it another way, but don’t store it forever as a constant reminder of failure. On the other hand, sometimes I pull out an old project and finish it. I call to mind three such projects right now.

I inherited a quilt top that a dear friend of my grandmother’s gave to Mother in the ‘60s. I decided I wasn’t interested in finishing it and donated it to the P.E.O. rummage sale. I was pleased when a couple of women looked it over and bought it. The history of that quilt top was important to me, but that doesn’t matter now. I hope it has new life in its present home.

A while back, Chris pointed out that the question isn’t if we can do it but if we really want to. The realization of this has been helpful. Do I truly want to do it? Do I have a plan or a place for the finished product? If it’s difficult, am I willing to face up to the challenge? KW

FLYING BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS

Back in November, a Pilgrim costume that I was making for one of the dolls came to naught, so I quietly quelled my disappointment and put it away, noting in my planner to attempt it again next year. Chris commented on how organized I am, saying that she just flies by the seat of her pants.

Well, in reality, so do I. Nothing in my crafting world is of earth-shattering importance, especially the doll clothes, but I do find that it helps now and then to note projects I want to finish. Otherwise, I will totally forget. I’m great at starting and not so good at finishing.

Well, I needed something simple to do when the doll dress didn’t work out. Not wanting to start an entirely new project (that I might not finish), I went out to the shed and retrieved the unfinished placemats I’ve dithered over for years, and I do mean years! These were a fabric panel that I bought at the old PayLess Drug Store more than 20 years ago. They closed out the fabric department well before they became RiteAid. I miss the old PayLess in more ways than one, but I digress.

And I finished those eight placemats, thus providing a festive table dressing, freeing up a storage bag, and eliminating one pesky reminder that I have something to finish.

Things just happen to interrupt my crafting world. Some relate to living, like a trip to the farm, an afternoon of geocaching, or social gatherings. Others are life-changing, such as the coming of a new grandchild or the passing of a loved one. And some things come along that must be done in the moment, like a sock monkey, a Christmas gift for little Silas. We crafters must be flexible.

It was two days before Christmas, and I was ready to put Sock Monkey away, another unfinished project. I figured that I just wasn’t going to have time to finish him, but I decided to work along in quiet moments and see what happened. As Sock Monkey took shape, it was therapeutic for me, and yes, he was finished in time to be delivered by Santa. 

While in Boise over the weekend, we had occasion to drive through a residential area where some houses were still lit with Christmas lights. It lifted my spirits to see the lights reflected on the cold snow. KW

CELEBRATING MILO

It was cold and snowing, but on Saturday, Jan. 13, more than 50 family, friends, and co-workers gathered to remember and celebrate the life of Milo Warnock. Mike and I were deeply touched.

We could not have put on this reception without daughter Hallie. She coordinated everything – the room, the food, the photos and slide show, the order of service, the programs. No detail escaped her. And a friend of hers came from Seattle to serve as our presenter. It was a lovely memorial to Milo whose untimely passing in a brutal way has left us reeling.

“I just thought he would get through this trouble and be back,” one person commented. That’s what I thought, too.

“Milo always wanted everyone to be happy in his presence,” said another. So true. Milo would not want us to be sad. Milo would even apologize that we are sad on his account.

We still have much to do and our work is cut out for us. KW

[Photos from top left clockwise: Milo, with Mason and Gage, at work, with brother Clint.]

THE BEST-LAID PLANS

Seven inches of snow fell on the L-C Valley overnight. Son Clint called at 7:30 this morning. “Have you been watching the road report,” he asked. Though we were traveling separately, he and Mike discussed weather and road reports and decided the Idaho route was our best option after all.

We were on the road by 8:00. The worst road conditions were in the Valley and over the Culdesac Grade to Craigmont. Near Grangeville, the road cleared and with a few exceptions was mostly clear the rest of the way. We arrived at our motel just after 3:00.

Yesterday (Thursday) was a difficult day. Besides our angst over winter weather, we had to straighten out a mix-up over our room reservations and Bess was clearly under the weather. We think she just had a reaction to immunizations, but it still made it impossible to board her. We had to bring her with us after all, but the motel is dog friendly. Mike says he prefers having her with us anyway, and naturally, she’s feeling much better. KW

WINTER TRAVEL

“It just makes you rave to think that it’s like a trip to another country to get to the southern part of your own state,” said Ina in 1934, and today, I say that it’s not much better. Our topography is against us.

We’re headed to Boise this weekend, and we must go because we have scheduled a celebration of life for son Milo. It’s unfortunate that snow and cold is predicted. We must travel and follow through with our arrangements.

Discussion has ensued regarding travel, and the plan is to head west to Pendleton, Oregon, and then travel back southeasterly on the Interstate, which will take us into Boise. It’s longer but safer, and perhaps not all that much longer in terms of time.

I think of my mother. Nothing kept her home if she wanted to go somewhere. I remember the November of 1959 when we drove to Boise to see brother Chuck’s new baby girl. On the way home, we encountered a snowstorm on the White Bird Grade. It was scary, but Mother 
drove bravely on, and we made it home safely. Apparently the stress didn't bother her. KW

MUSINGS ON FUNERALS

The culture of funerals has changed and along with it the etiquette of mourning.

When my grandfather, Julian Dobson, died in the mid-1940s, the only vehicle available to the family was my dad’s red pick-up. Daddy told me that his mother (Ina, of course) refused to ride to the funeral home in that pick-up, and the mortician sent a car to the farm for her.

Funeral practices have changed, and apparently in a relatively short time – I mean, as late as the last 25 years. The funeral and burial used to be scheduled quickly, usually between three to five days. I think the cost of funerals and the “one size fits all” attitude brought about the change. Now we take care of the necessary details and give ourselves time to plan a celebration of life that truly expresses our departed one. This is positive, I think, though there’s also something to be said for getting through it as soon as possible. Sometimes people opt for no service at all.

Well, my mother believed that a funeral is essential. Family and friends must gather, she said. We have to support each other through that first time together without the one who has gone on. With Milo’s passing, members of our family expressed the same thought, and since Milo’s life was in the Boise area, we will hold a celebration of life at Hyatt Place in Meridian on Saturday, Jan. 13. Hallie has taken the lead in planning; otherwise, it just wouldn’t happen, and then I would feel bad that we didn’t have some sort of service in his memory.

Nevertheless, I can hardly wait until Monday, Jan. 15, when it’s over and I’m back home and I don’t have to think about the details again, though I’ll still have plenty to think about. KW

HARD TIMES

“Let’s talk about hard times some more,” wrote Grandma Ina in 1932, and then she outlined their economic woes. Her tone tells me she really didn’t want to talk about it. “Never mind,” she seems to say. “I don’t intend to do without heat, light, and food.”

Hard times tend to put life into perspective. All the projects, worries of the day, and little successes and failures are suddenly not important at all – at least not for a while. But of course, life goes on and we have to keep up our efforts to improve.

My mother had a premonition prior to her first husband’s passing. She said that she suddenly felt that something terrible was going to happen. And immediately came the thought that as tragic as it was, she would get over it. And she did. She remarried, gave birth to a late-life child, and went on being a mother, a grandmother, and a productive, creative person. She did get over the tragic event, but it was life-changing. We must accept those changes with grace.  

I think many of us are happy to say good-bye to 2023, but in reality, the turmoil will not be gone with a turn of the calendar page. The world has a lot of unfinished business and so does my family. KW