A HOLIDAY VISIT WITH INA -- DAY 5

I have dried rose petals two summers so had plenty for three rather small cushions, one each to Ethel, Myrtle, and Irl and Bernice. We sent Shirley Jean a cute little print apron and hankie in pocket, and Shirley put in a little cup and saucer from her old tin things. Shirley also put in a book cover for Myrtle as she had hinted at wanting another. Irl and Bernice get a jar of fancy strawberry preserves. They failed to get any put up last year and Irl was so disappointed. Well, you see, our Christmas has cost next to nothing for what we bought was necessary anyway, but we’ve had a big time this hard times Christmas. Everything looks different when you look at it from Robinson Crusoe’s standpoint, surrounded by a sea of depression, and things show up at a more real value. We appreciate the actual values of things. So we’re going to have a very merry Christmas. Ina Dobson, Christmas 1932

I’m touched every year when I read what Ina has to say about her gift list. Having few resources, she manages to come up with gifts for everyone on her list: “premiums” from the purchase of feed and seed, books they had read, used toys from her own children, items she and Shirley made (such as dress protectors, book covers, and aprons), etc. If she spent money for a gift, it was for something needed anyway, such as gloves, stockings, etc. It gave her joy to plan her Christmas giving. Family members might also include a package of beans or popcorn grown on the farm.

The small farmer had little money but plenty to eat. Ina and her sister Bertha both shared cream, eggs, and chickens with friends in need.

Ina gifts were simple but heartfelt – and there’s something to be said for that. KW

[What do you suppose was the purpose of the cushions stuffed with dried rose petals?] 

 

THE GREAT AUTUMN STAYCATION DRAWS TO A CLOSE

Mike and hunting partner Ken left early Saturday morning (Sept. 24) to hunt sharp-tail grouse near Chinook, MT (20 miles from Havre). The trip from here to there is about ten hours. Bess went along, but Nellie and I stayed behind. Nellie felt something at being left. She understands that she can’t go anymore and curled up with her back to the door. As for me, you couldn’t pay me to go.

I can, however, be bribed to stay behind with “staycation” gifts. Saturday morning I headed to The Hangar Antique Mall where I purchased this wonderful old lighted Christmas decoration. I paid $12.50 for it and I can just hear Mike now: “I can’t believe what they ask you to pay for this old stuff.” “Well,” I might counter, “all you have to do is surf through the Vermont Country Store to see what they ask for the reproductions, and then what they tack on for shipping, and it looks like a bargain to me.” Yes, I am aware that it’s slightly tacky, but I like the vintage look for my understated farmhouse Christmas. I tell myself that Ina would approve.

Oh! And there have been other staycation gifts, too – a quilting book here, a color book there, some vintage ephemera in the mix – but the main gift is the Dept. 56 “Toads and Frogs Haunted Witch House,” which was delivered from Amazon today. (The staging still lacks a little something.)

Since it’s officially fall, my thoughts turn lightly to the coming holidays. True to form, inspiration got out of hand and the other night I searched for patterns to start a new project. Re-taking control, I firmly reminded myself that I have plenty to keep me busy. A list helped me focus. As a result, I’ve nearly finished the Christmas granny afghan.

Useless sign

Nellie explores the gulley

Sunday morning I figured Nellie would sleep in, but no, it wasn’t 7:00 yet when I heard her rattling her gate and whining. I wasted no time letting her out, and then she pressed me for the morning walk. “It’s a beautiful day in the ‘hood,” she seemed to say. “Let’s get out while it’s cool. I have a hankering to smell some smells. Wow! I can tell it’s fall, can’t you?” She was frisky, trotting right along. It wouldn’t be so noteworthy except that Nellie often doesn’t want to go with Mike and Bess for the morning walk. If Mike is serious about getting her out, he’ll put her on a leash. Otherwise, she’ll come right back to the house.

The hunters will be home tomorrow, so the staycation really is drawing to a close. KW

INA’S CHRISTMAS LIST, 1934

In real time it's warmed up to a high at just below freezing. And so, yes, snow is predicted. We took the late afternoon walk amongst some light flakes. Any accumulation likely won't last long as the "warming" trend continues.

My blog theme this advent season is about gifts. Generally speaking, I wonder, is holiday gift-giving out of control in our country? Each family has to determine the appropriate holiday expenditure, of course. In my quest for the "retro" experience, I'm taking some cues from my Grandma Ina's Depression-era letters in which she fully outlined to my dad, her son Vance, her entire list of recipients. Incidentally, I read recently that spending for gifts in this country has always been disproportionate to income, even in lean years like the Depression.

Here's what Ina wrote in her pre-Christmas letter to Vance, my dad, in 1934:

"I'm standing the Xmas doing fine. Ruth [her niece] has been here two days helping for I'm making a dress for her of one of Ida's. Most of my letters and cards are written and my last box went off today. I forgot to tell anyone it would be a 'skimpy Xmas.' Pearl said she couldn't send presents. Nothing to sell tho they have vegetables, fruit, beef and pork and of course plenty of milk, butter, so they'll do, but Al had borrowed $600 on his salary to pay some bills and get stuff and it was all gone. . . . Ethel said this move would strap them and she couldn't do anything either. Well, anyway, you 'have done something' so here's hoping.

"We sent Pearl and Al a box. I sent that W. Mason bag to Pearl. She can make good use of it, and I never use it. It was so pretty and useful too, so decided it should go to Pearl. Also sent a pretty pincushion and Al two linen hankies; Stan a book and pencil sharpener like the one Aunt sent you. I also put in the little toy dog for Pearl, a relic of old reservation days – Ad Burns and his house burning – the dog went through the fire. I brought it from Drain. To Ethel and Ernest, a breakfast tablecloth. Shirley Jean a pencil sharpener and "The Patchwork Girl of Oz" book and a box of molasses popcorn and some to pop. To Shirley scissors, stationery portfolio, bottle of perfume for her purse, and I'm getting new curtains for her room, too, which she wanted. That makes me think of the bath rug I sent you. I've been wanting to sample store rugs so sent for this one and having seen will never get any more like it though it will make a bath mat. "To Myrtle an atlas she'd wanted and a lady doll to muffle her clock at night. I made the doll a full old-fashioned skirt of velvet lined and padded with cotton. I hope it fits. I also made her a pretty quilt end and a face cloth much as she likes and put in a box of that popcorn. That's all, I guess.

"We're giving June and Aunt [some family photos]. Doris, a stationery folder. To Ralph, field glasses -- surprisingly good for the price, too. Ruth gets a nice collar for the dress I'm making.

"I may fill little boxes with sugared popcorn, nuts, candy for the tree just to make it livelier. Shirley sent me a box with paper tags, etc., and some small stick candy and nuts for the boxes. We send a crate of eggs to town about every two weeks and it keeps us in groceries. I got candy, nuts, oranges, grapefruit, etc. We'll have to have some lettuce, celery, etc., come up for Xmas, too. Aunt is helping me out by doing some of the cooking – pies, cookies, etc. Earl's box has come and Myrtle's. I must close with love and all good wishes, tho that doesn't express it at all it seems to me. Mother – hugs & kisses."

I've wondered what Ina thought about those of her family who felt unable to send gifts while she herself, working from nothing, put her thought and efforts into sending "something." I know she could ill afford to do it, but it was important to her. Speaking of her simple gifts, she said, "People can do things like this if they want to. No use to let everything go because of hard times." And she approved of the effort her poverty-stricken son had made to send something. KW

[The photos were taken from the farmyard looking north from the house and date from the mid-1930s.]

EGG MONEY

Coming to another Depression-Era Christmas, the Dobson family living in remote Idaho continues to struggle. Ina notes that they pay as they go at the grocery store by means of barter, trading cream, eggs, and chickens for the groceries they need. Apparently Ina had established the chicken and egg business in order that she might have some independence with her household budget. No one told me this; I learned it through her sister Bertha's letters. Now I feel a real connection to those "egg money quilts" that Eleanor Burns, the quilting guru, writes about.

On December 21, 1933, Ina wrote to her sisters in Drain, Oregon (Ida and Mabel): "I can't write much but do want to write a lot. I'll answer your good big letter later on, but now Shirley keeps after me to not write too much. It is bad for my nerves tho they are much stronger as is my heart and stomach and general strength. [She struggled for a while with some health issues, but don't worry about her. She'll live another 25 years!] You and Idy exchange letters about Xmas. I put in my blue silk for you as I think it nearer your size than Idy's. I've had it five years and can't stand it any longer, for I've a cheap one to wear instead and can use pretty prints for common. The dress is washable. I use a little --- Arabic in the last rinse. The same applies to the blue suit we sent Edny (Ida's daughter, Edna) but forgot to say so. It has been washed. Well, anyway, you needn't keep them if you don't like. Pearl gave me a pretty green voile too small for her this summer. The blue silk is the first silk dress I ever had. I have a black crepe-back satin. Ethel got the goods on sale in '30 and I've never worn it till last November. It's been made a year. I wore it to church first and then Thanksgiving Day. They are very serviceable. I'm going to get me a 19-cent wool crepe effect dress for my other dress is now more than two years old and has seen service, also cheap. Well anyway – you see how extravagant I am. I made the two-year-old to wear to P[ortland] in '31 when B[ertha] went to Drain. Didn't have time to make the black for I made one for her to go in instead.

"Well, for Xmas, getting the things we need and calling them Xmas gifts. For Julian, cap and leather-faced gloves. Ethel is sending him a pull-over sweater to wear under his coat about his work; for Shirley, a suit of flannelette pajamas to eke out her supply and a pretty dust cap – and five-year diary she has long wanted – and this I treated myself to getting. It is green-padded cover and gold stamped. For Earl & Bernice a copy of the Rubiayat (can't spell); for Myrtle Pepys Diary (long wanted) and Shirley is making a box of candy and stuffed dates for her. We sent also a small bag of fresh beans to her good friend where she stays and Shirley sent her little boy a little bag of popcorn. To Shirley Jean a game Uncle Wiggly that Doris and Shirley used to play and I made a doll outfit for the rag doll Ethel is making her. We had great fun doing it and trying it onto Ethel's old big doll who lies here. Jack sent them a small bag of beans and B—put in a bag of popcorn and a toy book for Shirley Jean. To Pearl and Al a pair of embroidered pillowslips; to Stan Tom Sawyer and a paper knife I had on hand, never used but boys always find some use for such. To Vance, who is keeping house, a small inexpensive tho very pretty rug. I know Ethel is sending him a very pretty cut-work table scarf. I mustn't write more tho I'd like to. Love to all, Iny"

I had also never known that Grandma Ina was apparently a rather accomplished sewist. Can't you just see her treadling away? She would be sitting near a window for the natural light, and when that waned, she would have to stop her sewing until the morrow. KW

[Top photo is of the chicken coop -- long gone. "Why does the grass grow so well in this part of the yard?" Mike asks. Photo 2 is of Aunt Ida Dickson Patchen, Grandma Ina's sister, taken in 1939. Bottom photo is of the farmhouse, Christmas 1933 -- not a good picture to begin with.]

THE COST OF SURPRISE

"I'd rather have what I want than be surprised," said Mike one year before Christmas, and he went off to buy his own gift. That has become the standard of giving between the two of us. Sometimes we buy a big-ticket item for the home and call it our Christmas gift, and then we'll buy some needful item just to wrap. Mike buys for himself; I buy for myself; and I do the wrapping. Mike rode off to Sears last weekend to buy a tool set for himself for Christmas, and I know he's happy as a clam. And of course, my hobbies are the kind that cost plenty and keep on costing, so I consider the machine embroidery I've been learning to be an ongoing gift. Still, a surprise is nice. We're taught to keep the gift a secret. Ina liked the surprise element, too. You notice in her writings that she relishes her secrets.

Mike and I went to Wal-Mart Black Friday morning – just to get out of the house, just to see what was going on. Plenty of people moved in the aisles, but it was manageable. We bought a gallon of milk, two skeins of yarn, a box of cards, and two bottles of Dr. Pepper. I saw an exceptional deal – $18.00 -- on something I had been considering as a surprise gift for Mike. I had been thinking of ordering it for him at $65.00 plus shipping and handling. And there it was -- $18.00! But he was with me, and I wanted to surprise him.

I could hardly wait for Mike and Nellie to leave Saturday morning so that I could run back to Wal-Mart. Approaching the display in question – there it was, but the price had changed – no longer $18.00 but $29.96. That it was a "Black Friday" special never entered my mind. Whatever happened to "falling prices," "price rollbacks," etc. My heart sank. "Well, I was going to pay much more," I reasoned to myself. "And when you think of it that way, it's still a good deal." I agreed with myself and selected a color I liked.

"Did you find everything you wanted?" asked the cashier. Yes, I said, and told her my tale – protecting the surprise element was costing me $12.00. "Well, that's too bad," she said, "because it costs him $12.00, too." We laughed.

And – that brings us full circle in Mike's philosophy – "I'd rather have what I want than be surprised." And he might add, "I'd rather pay less than be surprised." He doesn't always get it his way. KW

BLACK FRIDAY MUSINGS

Over the years I've thought a lot about Christmas giving. Mike and I have always controlled our Christmas spending and as much as it has saddened me from time to time – perhaps when we opted not to get a child an expensive gift or not to buy a showy gift for the family exchange -- we have reaped the benefits of keeping our gift spending under control. I was touched the other day when son Clint commented that he didn't know how we had done it, and he mentioned his Gobots, Transformers, Legos, trendy shoes, clothes, etc. "That stuff is expensive now and it was expensive then," he commented. It took some planning and it did involve some deprivation, but that he doesn't remember it that way warms my heart.

Giving and receiving with grace should hold an important place in our lives. The whole process of thinking of others and putting their wants and needs before one's own (what is called magnanimity) expands heart, mind, and soul. Unselfishness is healthy. Remember the Grinch! So – what's the problem with holiday giving? Some problems that come to me are the money spent, the value involved, keeping gifts equal, providing gifts for family members we don't really know, feeling obligated to do more than we can really afford, the appallingly high cost of shipping. On the other side – receiving – the problem might be getting things we neither want nor need while being properly appreciative to the giver, or perhaps knowing that the giver couldn't afford the gift.

Does a good gift really need to be expensive? Aren't there things we all need and can use without spending beyond our budgets to provide them? Is the sole purpose of a gift to satisfy the recipient's fondest wish? Do we have to tolerate the expectation that a good gift must have a certain monetary value? Can we adopt a simpler idea of giving?

Let's look back to the Depression Days and see how Ina managed her holiday spending. Never mind that you don't know all the people on her list. They're her children and grandchildren. Just note the simplicity of the gift and her justifications. This entry was written in December 1932.

"I'm putting a pound of Climax [chewing tobacco] on [the tree] for Dad. He doesn't know I got an extra pound. It is for fun but I know he'll be glad to see it coming. I got a pair of leather-faced gloves for him, too, and for Shirley a pair of brushed wool gloves which she needs for going out these winter nights. Well, I also got her a box of pretty stationery – also a necessity. Then I've got her going on a surprise which is a pretty print apron. She'll never think of it for it was left over from the stuff I made Pearl's quilt top with.

"We sent Stan a premium fountain pen Dad got last year – think it will do him good service – and a pretty quilt top, all the material on hand. Aunt put in a pair of embroidered pillowcases and Ken's old toy typewriter. I have dried rose petals two summers so had plenty for three rather small cushions one each to Ethel, Myrtle, and Irl and Bernice. We sent Shirley Jean a cute little print apron and hankie in pocket and Shirley put in a little cup and saucer from her old tin things. Shirley Jean has always been crazy over them. Shirley also put in a book cover for Myrtle as she had hinted at wanting another. Irl and Bernice get a jar of fancy strawberry preserves. They failed to get any put up last year and Irl was so disappointed.

"Well, you see, our Xmas has cost next to nothing for what we bought was necessary anyway, but we've had a big time this hard times Xmas. Everything looks different when you look at it from Robinson Crusoe's standpoint, surrounded by a sea of depression, and things show up at a more real value. We appreciate the actual values of things. So we're going to have a very merry Xmas."

[This photo of my grandparents, Ina and Jack Dobson, with grandchildren Shirley Jean and Stanley was taken in 1926. Dick, their dog, makes a rare appearance in this photo. He seems to have a good opinion of his master.] KW