Growing up, my goal was to be a housewife. I had plenty of role models – my mother, my grandmothers, my best friend's mother. In fact, I grew up in an era when most women were housewives. A man hoped to make a good enough living so that his wife didn't have to work outside the home. Things began to change in the '60s and '70s as the feminist movement influenced our lives. As women, we were told that "just being a housewife" wasn't good enough for us. Don't get me wrong -- I have no quarrel with liberation. But I do think that in the process we undermined the value of homemaking and consequently, we de-valued the place of the home in society. In the midst of these changing values, I went off to college. I was confused as I struggled – and failed – to find a focus for my life's work. Years later my mother would say, "If you had chosen a major that fits your interests, it would have been home-ec." I could see that she was right.
When I retired two years ago, I had the privilege of re-inventing my life. I could once again be a housewife, but the children were gone and my efforts felt a little fruitless. As I reviewed the things that had come to me through my mother and grandmothers, I discovered a burning desire to learn, re-learn, and practice the household arts they valued – to become a "modern retro woman." We're modern – because, of course, we aren't stupid: We're not going to turn in our modern time-saving, labor-saving devices. But we're retro because we love the values, the ethics, of practicing the household arts. Making a study of it has brought a dimension of interest to my daily life.
The "modern retro woman" is not my catch phrase. It belongs to Julie-Ann McFann, Ph.D. I first became acquainted with Dr. Julie-Ann through the podcast, Grandma's Sewing Cabinet. I then began to read her blog by the same title, and from there I discovered she authors yet another blog, "modern retro woman." She recently mentioned our blog (mwhomestead) as "embracing homemaking as a creative process," and that's exactly what I have endeavored to show – with honesty – through my daily activities. It's great to find an online support group for the retro feminine arts. (See links below.)
I recently had a bit of fun dialoging with Dr. Julie-Ann. She confirmed what I suspected -- that her paternal grandmother who taught her to sew was the same age as my mother. That means they themselves were taught the household arts by mothers and grandmothers who never knew electricity. They were children during World War I, young mothers during the Great Depression, approaching middle age during World War II. They listened to radio programs before television became a fact of life.
[The photo above is of Mother, Daddy, and me watching the county fair parade in Orofino, Idaho, 1951. The photo to the right is of my mother fitting my wedding gown in April, 1975. "The wedding dress should show the bride," she said. If only she could see today's dresses. She appliquéd the quilt on the bed by hand and dressed the doll in the frame.] KW
4 comments:
Hey Kath--I don't see the pictures.
Now I see them! Maybe it was just my computer??
I thought of taking home ec (do you know they don't teach it at most high schools anymore?) but chemistry was required and I have never been a science person. But maybe that was a good thing--I love the line in Hope Floats where Harry Connick, Jr., says something to the effect that we often take what we love, and then make it our work and then we ruin it. So, guess I'm glad that all things domestic remain my love, not my ruination!! :-)
You just came to visit me too soon. You weren't looking at the finished product.
I think our mothers -- yours and mine -- felt that they could teach us what we needed to know, and they were diligent about it. I, too, was scared of chemistry (remember Mr. Anderson who taught us nothing!), to the point that my kids used to encourage me to audit the class at the high school. I appreciate your point of view because looking back with regret is no good. KW
Oh, Kathy!
YES! YES! YES! This post gets to the very heart of why I write my blogs. I want to create a community of women like us who think of homemaking as a creative process, not drudgery.
I need to go find some kleenex, now. Your post brought tears to my eyes.
Hugs all around.
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