COPING WITH THE HOLIDAYS

 

“I got through it all just fine,” says Ina, or “I stood all the Christmas doings just fine.” She writes this once or twice every Christmas season, so I know that in the past, she had not stood it so well. I can relate, and it’s one reason that Ina’s skimpy, low-key celebration resonates with me.

Even though Ina’s celebration seems simple, it took an emotional toll just the same. Perhaps she couldn’t make it as wonderful as she would have liked. Or maybe she experienced a letdown after the big push to finish all that wrapping, carding, and mailing. Above all, she missed her children, her extended family, and the way it used to be. But – she learned to cope, and so have I.

This year, we rented an AirBnB as a gathering place for our family Christmas celebration. Son Murray cooked dinner for us on Christmas Eve, roasting a delicious turkey breast. He said that my dad’s roasted turkey in days of yore was his inspiration.

Our focus was a fun Christmas for three-year-old Silas, and he was a delight as he passed out and opened gifts under his mother’s supervision. As we played with his new toys, he confided to me that he would like to have more gifts.

We checked out of the AirBnB Friday morning (Dec. 27), and I commented to Silas that he would soon leave to go home with mom and dad. “Mama and Papa,” he corrected. Silas and I don’t like “good-byes,” so I watched from the house while his parents bundled him into the car. He is growing up all too fast, and yet, it’s what he must do.

So, it’s mostly back to life as usual, and I say with Ina, “I stood it all just fine.” KW

 I feel like I can settle down to just living again and enjoying my gifts and memories of a very happy Christmas to which you added a great deal. – Ina

My mother told me that as the children grew up and left the family farm to pursue their livelihoods elsewhere, the old folks  expected support in the form of money and gifts. The gifts Ina received were important to her, and I think her children were as generous as they could afford to be.

One year, as the Depression deepened, several of her children announced that they couldn’t afford to send gifts that year, and though she didn’t say so in so many words, Ina was disappointed. She thanked my dad for sending “something” and praised him for his understanding. 

You might remember Ina’s philosophy: “People can do things like this. No need to let everything go because of hard times.” She had put on her thinking cap and sent gifts, and if she could do it, anyone could.

But in a good year, Ina enjoyed a great haul. KW

DAY 25

 

Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift.

DAY 24 -- THE CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY

 

Shirley lit the tree, and it was so very pretty. She had the rooms decorated very nicely, too, with boughs. After the gifts were distributed and opened, I dragged the cask from Myrtle to the center and we unloaded it. It held two packages of fancy prunes, two packages of fancy raisins in cellophane, and a quantity of fine nuts and six packages of gum. Imagine the crunching and munching and general mussing of wrappings, etc. The moon was shining in brightly and lighting the tree and everything else in sight. It was a wonderful “skimpy” Christmas with everyone well-remembered. – Ina

 

HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!

 

DAY 23

 

Today in 1931, Jack Dobson crossed the north field to the trees above the draw and cut down the little fir tree he had marked last fall. He set it up on the library table according to Ina’s instructions. This was his part, and he was glad to do it.

Then Shirley decorated it with a few red balls and tinsel carefully saved from previous years, and as a final touch, she clipped the candle holders onto the tree, inserting a brand new candle into each one. Then she stood back to admire her work.

Now that the tree was ready, Ina took over. After I filled the little Christmas boxes with treats, I fell upon the boxes of gifts we had received from the family. Ethel’s was wrapped with green string and I cut this off and used it to tie the packages onto the tree, being foolish about green string. The packages were all so pretty and I had a great time. I hung them on the tree and put them under it. – Ina

I don’t know why, but tying gifts on the tree or hiding them in the branches never appealed to me. My dad would occasionally do it. I guess it makes sense if you have a small gift you don’t want to get lost among the larger ones. And I can see that it was logical for Ina to tie the little boxes of treats onto the tree. They were part of the decorations.

Our gifts are wrapped and under the tree, tied with yarn from my extensive stash. I know that Ina reused wrapping paper as well as string. I used new wrapping paper, most of it printed on newsprint by the local newspaper. Some years I use fabric gift bags, but I forgot to bring them from the farm.

Christmas 2024 is upon us. Young Silas and his parents will be here soon, and I still have to clean the kitchen counters. Better stop visiting and get with it. KW 

DAY 22

 

T’was the night before Christmas when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; . . .

WOULD THAT THIS WERE TRUE!!

 

I was using the bathroom the other evening, minding my own business, when a mouse darted around the corner on a tear. “Arrrrrgh!” I cried. The mouse, as startled as I was, lost its balance, immediately righted itself, and continued on to the utility room at warp speed and disappeared. But I wasn't fooled. I knew it was there somewhere.

“There’s a mouse in here!” I screeched.

So, we gathered as many mousetraps as we could find – four in all, and Mike loaded them with peanut butter and placed them strategically – one in the utility room, one in the living room, one in my sewing room, AND MOST ESPECIALLY, one for the pantry. Recalling the time that a mouse ate its fill of nuts out of the nut and grain bread leaving a pile of fine bread crumbs on the counter, I immediately put the bread in the cupboard.

We didn’t trap the mouse overnight, but I noticed that the peanut butter had apparently been stolen from the trap in the pantry, so Mike exchanged that trap for the one with the “hair trigger.” Within half an hour, we caught that guy!

“We’ll leave the traps out for a while to catch the other one,” Mike said.

“There’s another one?” I asked.

“Oh, probably,” he responded. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that.”

But I know he's right. We may -- or may not -- have another mouse in the house right now, but the potential always exists.

Ina never speaks of the mice, rats, or other rodents, but we know she had them, and they are not to be tolerated! She probably took them in stride better than I do, and her foodstuff was different -- less processed food in boxes and bags -- and she undoubtedly protected what she had in jars and cans. They say that mice are especially attracted to nuts, but take it from me – they’ll eat most anything in a pinch, including soap, and they like paper and fuzzy stuff for their nests. And if you feed your dog kibble -- well, that's a big attraction. KW

[The Christmas card posted here was sent by my parents to the families of their piano students.]

DAY 21

Well, I’m so bedeviled and bemused with everything around here that this evening I trimmed the Aladdin lamp on the library table, then finding no matches on the mantel went to the kitchen, took one, lit it, and carried it carefully to the living room. When I realized my foolishness, I was so tickled that I nearly blew out the lamp. I was laughing and I get silly every time I think of it. I mean all this Christmas packing, sorting, carding, lettering, mailing, etc., etc. – Ina

In case you didn’t catch on, instead of lighting the match in the living room, Ina struck it in the kitchen and carefully carried the burning match to the living room to light the lantern. She laughed at herself for being so foolish. It’s just a simple anecdote, and perhaps you had to be there to find it funny.

Well, these things happen. In my case, the other evening, Alexa announced that a shipment had been delivered. I checked at the front door and didn’t see a package, so I grabbed a flashlight and checked the mailbox. Nothing there either, nor at the back door. I was baffled but decided to fix supper before checking my orders. However, before long Alexa announced again that a shipment had been delivered, so I grabbed the flashlight and went out to look for it, this time checking the shrubbery. At this point, I was really concerned, so I checked my orders, and even then it took a moment to register that it was a gift delivered elsewhere. Mike and I chuckled, but I’m over it now. KW

DAY 20

Mrs. Cordell and Aunt helped in the kitchen. I got through just fine. Aunt helped me out by dressing a fat young rooster and bringing it ready for the roaster. She also insisted on making pies since I had my hands full – mince and pumpkin. One of each would be plenty, I said, but no – here came two each and ginger cookies frosted. She’d tried a new recipe. So, we had mince and pumpkin pie with whipped cream on it, ginger cookies, fruit cake and do-nuts, and fruit and whipped cream for that, coffee, oranges, nuts and candy besides the after-dinner mints.

Well, we just parceled out the leftovers. Mr. Boehm got half of each kind of pie. I believe Mrs. Cordell got a whole pie, some donuts, cookies, and buns. Mr. Boehm also got some of each. Aunt got the remains of the roast, buns and donuts, and this is how we do. It was a good day. – Ina

Dear Aunt Bertha! How she loved to cook – from roasted meats to baked goods and everything in between and heavy on the butter and cream. And yes, she liked to eat, too. Ina, on the other hand, was mindful of her weight and ate accordingly. She does say of the Christmas meal, though, “I ate my fill according to a previous promise to myself.”

Both Ina and Aunt Bertha made mincemeat with meat, the old-fashioned way. I like a fruit-based mincemeat, such as the Nonesuch brand, and in the past, I’ve made my own from green tomatoes. I had many green tomatoes this year, but they ripened before I could make the mincemeat, so we had stewed tomatoes instead.

And then I couldn’t find mincemeat locally and the price online was horrendous! So, I thought again about making some. What could I use instead of green tomatoes, I wondered, and I happened to think of the boxes of shredded zucchini in the freezer. So, yesterday I made zucchini mincemeat, simmering it in a Crock Pot. It was rather juicy, so I thickened it with cornstarch. “Very good!” as Ina would say. KW

DAY 19

 

Vance's rendering of the old living room fireplace

One late evening after the dishes were cleared away, Dad popped two kettlefuls of lovely corn and we sugared one and put taffy over the other. We heaped a large platter with balls till Dad said, “Oh, that’s enough,” for he wanted some left to eat. Well, I sent him off to the living room to eat and read. Then I prepared my dressing and sweet potatoes for the morrow and put my buns to rise, for I’d baked lite bread and roasted beef too. At last I repaired to my seat before the fire with a pan of sugared corn, nuts and candy and filled eleven little Christmas boxes for the tree.

Ah! Those last-minute preparations when we work late into the evening. In my mind’s eye, I can see Jack and Ina working together to make this popcorn treat for the guests who will come to their Christmas Eve gathering.

The popcorn was grown right there on the farm, and Grandpa Jack was in charge of popping it on the old wood range, and then Ina and Jack worked together to coat it with sugar and taffy.

I saw this process as I grew up. Coming from this tradition, my dad would occasionally make caramel corn. He popped the corn and then set to work to make the caramel coating in the heavy cast iron skillet. When the syrup was ready, he would call Mother, and working with two forks, Mother would turn the corn while Daddy steadily poured a stream of the hot syrup over it. It was really a two-person job because it was important to coat the pop-corn before the syrup hardened. (It didn't always happen either.)

It was a labor-intensive process from beginning to end, and I guess some part of me realized this because it didn’t transfer into my life. I never did it for my family, though the doing of it is now a treasured memory. KW

DAY 18

 

I got my letters and cards and boxes off in good season and had the last week mostly to make a dress for Ruth, my niece. They told me not to try to do it before Christmas, but I wanted to. It and the collar I made, unknown to them all, were my gifts to Ruth. She came down different days and did my work up so I’d have more daylight to sew. One day she did my washing besides. She’s a good girl and willing to help. – Ina

Here we are at the last week before Christmas in our imaginary 1931, the same as it is here in 2024. Ah! How wonderful to be ready for Christmas and have that last week for the little extras and to create surprises for loved ones. It does the heart good.

Actually, the dress for Ruth wasn’t the surprise. Ruth knew about the dress. The surprise was the collar that Ina fashioned for it. And I’m sure Ina made that collar without benefit of a pattern. Back in the day, people sewed without patterns. My other grandmother, my mother’s mother, prided herself in not using patterns, but my mother said the fit left something to be desired. And me? – I make nothing unless I have a pattern and instructions.

We approach the shortest day (or longest night) of the year, and daylight does make a difference, especially when you don’t have electricity. Lantern light just isn’t good enough for close work. KW

DAY 17

 

One night before Christmas a big bobsled load of us – nineteen in all and with a four-horse team – went up to the old schoolhouse to the school program and tree. It was lots of fun and I believe the last I went to the program was when I was in the program myself back in 1923! I got a great kick out of watching these various kids perform and make mistakes and more fun still to see them eating candy and popcorn balls up front while the tree was being ‘had.’ – Shirley Dobson

What a fun night! I can just imagine it. Magic was in the air.

“The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a luster of midday to objects below, . . .”

One of the farmers took the trouble to hitch his team of four to the bobsled that he seldom had occasion to use, gathered his own kin, and around to the various farmhouses they went, picking up those who wanted to attend the program at the schoolhouse – mostly the young adults, singles as well as couples. That farmer was a community-oriented person, willing to make the effort so that others could have some fun and also support the program at the school.

And Shirley did have fun. Perhaps Henry was there, too. 

I think there’s a Hallmark movie here, don’t you? KW

DAY 16

 

We intend to start a “Literary” after the holidays and Dorothy Johnson and Henry Shockley and I are already planning a short play for part of our program from down here. Later we hope to give a longer one. It would be fun if we could manage a three-act play later, but there aren’t so many young people here and it may be rather difficult, but we are talking of it. Tonight a sleigh load of us are going up to the upper schoolhouse for the program, the Millers and the teacher, Henry and Ed and myself probably will be all. – Shirley Dobson, 1932

[Just a reminder – we are celebrating Christmas with Ina Dobson and her family in the agricultural community of Gilbert, Idaho, on Russell Ridge south of Orofino in the early 1930s. The above quote is from a letter written by Ina’s daughter Shirley, a young adult.]

I admire the dedication of Miss Dorothy Johnson, the teacher at the one-room Dickson School at Gilbert. With just the little I’ve gleaned of her character from yesterday’s posted quote and the one above, I see her as willing to give of her time not only to her students but also to the enrichment and socialization of the young adults of this dwindling agricultural community. I suspect she was young herself.

Perhaps you noted in an earlier post that Ina gave Shirley “a pair of brushed wool gloves which she needs for going out these winter nights. Henry Shockley comes along and takes her to the singing bees, play practice, etc.” Miss Dorothy Johnson was the instigator of those activities. And perhaps we can thank her for providing the means by which Henry would court Shirley. They married in June 1937.

I once heard that another man, Jay Cordell, was interested in Shirley, and when Henry began to call on her, Jay backed off. Searching for Jay, I found that he was born in 1893, making him close to 40 in 1931, a good 17 years older than Shirley. If indeed he was interested in Shirley, the fact that he was not a member of the younger set might have deterred his interest as much as Henry’s involvement.

Jay Cordell died in Orofino in 1970. KW

DAY 15

 

The school teacher, Miss Dorothy Johnson, has organized a singing group, and we’ve been meeting at Miller’s to practice. We sang two Christmas anthems for church Sunday and they went very well. Oh, they could have gone better, but it helped the service anyway. – Shirley Dobson

DAY 14

 

We’re going to have Aunt and Uncle with us, and Mr. and Mrs. Boehm have promised faithfully to come. We have some left over candy boxes that we’re going to fill with sugared popcorn, “old hard Xmas candy,” and the Orofino Mercantile’s best assorted nuts. Listen, the hard candy cost 9 cents a pound, cream 15 cents a pint, nuts two pounds for 35 cents. Some change! I had some chickens and eggs to send down to the Merc lately and so got supplies and some treats, and Lydia put in an extra pound of the hard candy. Aunt and Uncle felt unable to get treats, so in a way that makes the tree loom larger. We promised to have a regular tree and we’ll all be children and have a lot of fun out of it. – Ina

Such a descriptive phrase – “the tree looms larger!” So, Grandma Ina took on the responsibility of making sure that everyone was well remembered on this skimpy Christmas. She bartered for treats at the general store, the Orofino Mercantile, with her chickens and eggs. It wouldn’t happen today, but it worked then. And Lydia, the clerk at the Merc, put in an extra pound of hard candy. It’s not much, but it’s something when folks have nothing.

My mother also wrote a few words about the Orofino Mercantile:

We moved back to Orofino when I was eight. That was during the First World War and there was a scarcity of everything. My best memory of the next few years was Christmas in the [Orofino] Mercantile. There was a long table near the center of the store filled with toys of every description. As soon as school was out, we hurried down town to “play with” the toys. There weren’t any decorations in town but that toy table was enough. KW

DAY 13

Of course, in 1931, Ina doesn’t have a clue about Christmas in 1946, but I happen to know she spent it in Portland, OR, with her daughter Myrtle, a.k.a. Lynn. The following Ina quote from Christmas 1946 is one of my favorites:

Next day was fine and sunny and we went down town to do our last shopping. The shops were beautiful with all sorts of gay and clever Christmas displays. The markets were a dream of luscious foods, and I wished for Dickens to describe them for me; turkeys, geese, ducks, fat chickens, beef roasts and cuts of all kinds, hams, bacon, pork roasts and chops, cranberries as big as cherries, bags and baskets of nuts (the biggest walnuts and filberts I ever saw), jars of mincemeat, pies, cakes, and cookies of every sort, baskets filled with the finest fruits, and all wrapped in colored cellophane. I kept falling behind to admire things, while Lynn went blithely on her way among the happy people.

So, what did Dickens describe, I wondered. Here’s an excerpt from A Christmas Carol, Stave Three, “The Second of the Three Spirits.”

“There were ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish Onions, shining in the fatness of their growth like Spanish Friars, and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe. There were pears and apples, clustered high in blooming pyramids; there were bunches of grapes, made, in the shopkeepers’ benevolence to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people’s mouths might water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy and brown, recalling, in their fragrance, ancient walks among the woods, and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered leaves; there were Norfolk Biffins, squat and swarthy, setting off the yellow of the oranges and lemons, and, in the great compactness of their juicy persons, urgently entreating and beseeching to be carried home in paper bags and eaten after dinner. The very gold and silver fish, set forth among these choice fruits in a bowl, though members of a dull and stagnant-blooded race, appeared to know that there was something going on; and, to a fish, went gasping round and round their little world in slow and passionless excitement.”

Perhaps you wonder, as I did, what Dickens meant by the word “stave” instead of “chapter.” I looked it up. The BBC says that “a 'stave' is a name for the five lines on which musical notes are written, so Dickens called his chapters 'staves' to link in with the musical meaning of the title. It suggests that each chapter is a 'line' of the whole 'carol'.” KW

DAY 12

My sister Bertha and I sent a box of candy and cake to an old lady who used to live here and now resides in a home in Bellingham. Mrs. Brown of Lewiston has been very ill, so we each sent her a box long before Christmas – chickens and cottage cheese of which she’s very fond, and Bertha will send another box of chicken, cheese, butter, and cream. They are awfully hard up and she’s been such a good friend to us. – Ina

In the words of the song, “The Secret of Christmas:”

“So, may I suggest the secret of Christmas,

It’s not the things you do at Christmastime,

But the Christmas things you do all year through.”

[Written by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen for Bing Crosby, recorded in1959. You can hear Bing sing it by clicking here.]

DAY 11

It’s 4 degrees below but clear as a bell. Dad has a helper here and they are sawing down a tree by the pond for wood. We have plenty of limbs but snow too deep to get to them. – Ina

I have to wonder about that tree. Was it dead, or did they cut down a live tree? The green wood surely wouldn’t burn very well.

And Ina refers to limbs. Did they just gather limbs to use for wood? At any rate, apparently they were caught short in a cold snap without enough wood.

Besides the wood cook stove in the kitchen, I believe they had a wood stove in the dining room, too, and a fireplace in the living room. The larger upstairs bedroom also had a wood stove, and Ina mentions lighting it in the evening to take the chill off the room.

Here in 2024, Mike and Ken cut down Scotch pines in Ken’s back yard, and Mike came home with the wood. It is all cut, split, and stacked for next year. We rely on our little wood stove for heat more than on our furnace. KW

DAY 10

 

I got a pair of leather-faced gloves for your dad, and for Shirley a pair of brushed wool gloves which she needs for going out these winter nights. I also got her a box of pretty stationery – also a necessity. Well, you see, our Christmas has cost next to nothing for what we bought was necessary anyway. – Ina

 

So yes, Ina did buy a few gifts. And if any gift was “over-the-top,” it would be for daughter Shirley, her youngest child. After all, Shirley was still living at the family home, and though she was another mouth to feed, she was also Ina’s “righthand man.” One Christmas morning, Ina tied a pair of stockings to Shirley’s bedroom door. Other years she gave Shirley a diary that she wanted and a pair of flannel pajamas. And there was that box of pretty stationery that Ina deemed a necessity. They wrote a lot of letters, but a pad of paper and plain envelopes would work as well. That’s what Ina used.

Nevertheless, I know that my Aunt Shirley worked hard, helping with the housework as well as the farm chores. She was worthy of some consideration. KW

DAY 9

 

We are feeding the little birds on the front porch. They are so cute.  Two native pheasants come every day or so and feed in the service bushes on the buds. A band of 11 chinks are wintering here, too. It is so beautiful! A picture wherever you look! – Ina

[Mike says the native pheasants are likely grouse. The chinks might be white-throated sparrows, so called because of their sharp cry.]

December days can be dark and dreary. Ina calls them “dull.” But we also have those magnificent effects, and I feel a connection to her knowing that she loved the beauty of the landscape, which transcends time.

Well, it's washday again, and there's just not much to say about it. Ina will move ahead with Christmas work tomorrow. KW

DECEMBER BONUS POST -- NEW FRIDGE

Saturday afternoon, our new fridge was delivered. I had to wait a few hours for it to cool before I could stock it, but by suppertime, I had it mostly loaded.

I could see that it would be a challenge to store our usual foods in this relatively small side-by-side model, so I researched online for ideas. I put sticky notes inside the fridge to remind me of the best areas to store certain foods because recommendations are different from my usual habits.

The shelves allow for very little adjustment. “Use bins and containers,” recommended the folks at Frigidaire. I know all about using bins to store fabric, but I had never thought of using them in the fridge. Perhaps you’re laughing at my ignorance. In researching bins, I discovered I had three or four refrigerator bins on hand that had belonged to son Milo. “So, that’s what those are,” I said to myself, and out to the shed I went to retrieve them. Before I could use them in the fridge, I had to remove the fabric.

Those bins are perfect for so many of those odds and ends that need to be corralled – shredded cheese, tortillas, seeds and nuts, etc. You know what they are.

And this fridge is so quiet! That Kenmore (LG) French door model was noisy. It had a deep hum and also rattled loudly for days on end. It was driving Mike nuts.

The downside is that it’s so small. We will have to pay attention to what we buy and store. You wouldn’t think two people would need all that much cooling space, but I think we need more than a family. I remember when I had teenagers, they ate up the food every day, but for Mike and me, I have leftovers and partial containers to store. KW

DAY 8

Another December Sunday in 1931. Ina slept late and was tempted not to attend church. The minister would not be there today, but Bertha was in charge of the Sunday school lesson. Ina admitted to herself that Bertha presented a good lesson. And besides, they would sing carols, and that would add to her Christmas spirit.

The lesson was about the gifts that the Magi brought to the Christ child, and as Ina pondered the message that afternoon, she looked over some Christmas cards she had saved and came away with a deep sense of inspiration. This quiet afternoon of thoughtful contemplation was time well spent. KW